To Be Continued

Flowing around in dusty ages
ink blot ideas form words on my pages
from starting the feeling, the first spark of excitement,
flirting shyly at first, then into the spotlight!
I share with them my all, their essence flows through me,
But then.. I hear a call...
Ho there blue.. with red are you?
But that doesn't show off your true hue,
Ho there dreams, you say that your growing?
How about we go crowing at the moon overflowing
with worms just a-glowing, all shiny and bright.
But then we never really knew, of the moons real wormy hue,
for unfinished it ages, in dusty word cages,
forever more fading,
on these unread pages

-to be continued

un-self

Unpeeled, unshelled, deep under the
layers upon layers,
undone, undressed,
unmasked..
naked in the seed of self,
underneathe, unflinching, unafraid,
understood,
finding feet in the dark earth.
unabashed, unattatched, undefined, and divine
under skies of infinity
I am that I am that I am that I am
spiralling inwards, truth in all

Puzzling

Words fall like a puzzle as I piece my lessons together, falling on perked ears, I trust the inner butterflies to guide my fragile understanding, a mobile made of glass, twisting and spinning, catching light at the right angles. I whisper to them and shine them up until they sparkle like crystal and I close my eyes to set them free, dreams weaving as I speak. I am a bridge to the light realm, a beckoner to that which lies beyond, a stealer of memories, of images to paint the picture of me, of this, of the just now and the forever. With belief and trust we merge and swim in the same rivers, feeling the flowing grace and allowance waters wrapping their tender tendrils around, and mingling minds because curiosity cannot be ignored. It pulls tangles out and laughs at them, smoothing them out into hammocks to lay in the open sunshine.

Icy Gardens

I watch as green gardens are coated with icy snow and reflect on the pure impermanence of it all. For just a small while this green will be cradled in it`s snowy grave, a frozen memory of an eternal season.. when someone thought this would last forever, someone thought they would last forever, and someone else still counted the falling petals, thinking how time stretches deep. But sometimes time jumps our bones,the cold shocks our warm bronze beings and we shiver with it’s cryptic foreshadowing. Winnipeg warriors have not yet earned their spurs, or donned brick heavy sorrels. I think of this all, watching the snow swirl around cozy street lights, and smile a little smile because our cycles still reflect clocks more than ourselves, night lights more than our dear stars, and digital agendas more than our moon. What a surprise this tropical blizzard. Not feeling like revolting much less moving, I just keep sighing, watching as seasons change before my eyes, saying to myself that tonight at least, i choose to embrace this unexpected, to welcome the snowmen, to frolick with each frisky flake and make love to the winter winds.   

 

Old poetry surrender

Well little ms. blog has been in stasis for a while here, but now relaxing and glowing on the sunshine coast thought I'd give it a little jump start, a little energy with some old poetry I've been wanting to archive. ~*Bliss Bless*

Falling Together

My fingers type a waterfall of letters, drips and drips, words, rolling and falling into the larger pool of that which I’m trying to say to you. But the drumbeat of my heart falls apart, scatters beats to the wind, each spiralling mathematically away, moments fragmented into a million pieces, trying to escape the thought that I might have to tell you no, or maybe not know what to say at all. The splinters of my ego are flying so wide and wild that sea birds pick them up and when they fly into the sunlight, they blind and bewilder those who dare to look. And I dared, so now the words, the manifestations of my divine will trip blindly off my tongue into empty puddles leaving ricocheted bits stuck to the memory walls of all those here. But I’ll pick them up, dust them off and repeatedly reassemble my meaning, mecho-engineering and reconfragulating my rusty constructs until I…. Understand…you…..until I… can speak to your heart.. until you can see my truth.

serpentine connections

Old Sages by the Figure of the Snake
Encircled thus) did oft expression make
Of Annual-Revolutions; and of things,
Which wheele about in everlasting-rings;
There ending, where they first of all begun . . .
These Roundells, help to shew the Mystery
of that immense and blest Eternitie,
From whence the CREATURE sprung, and into whom
It shall again, with full perfection come . . . 


I love this image and metaphor, eternity, must be devoured but then created again. Plus it's a symbol found all over the world for a thousand years. From alchemy to the mayan, to roman empires to mesopotamia. I will be making some serpent jewelry from this inspiration!

Destination Education!

Hurray for learning!  =D

So all this week I've been teaching, and well actually mainly learning! Meeting the kids I'll be teaching, learning what they've been learning, that they're really bright! and i'm learning my place in this complex, fast paced, yet always relaxed world. People were friendly enough at first, but I felt a distance between us, as if a whole sea of past experiences and history was washing between us, keeping us still and observing. Without knowing though one can only bow with acceptance and be present. Anyways I got right into the swing of things, taught one class of yoga and games with the younger kids and they went a bit crazy (a great lesson for me on preparedness and discipline!) and then taught the older kids who were better. I feel like I'm going to progress really fast though, understanding what the kids need and what I'm capable of.
  Man those kids, they won't be fooled! They actually didn't even pay attention to me for the first few days, no surprise or curiosity or fear. But over the course of the week hearts slowly opened up, and now a few of the kids call my name and smile and hold out their hands to me, which is really heartwarming to me. The kids have their own barriers up and you have to prove that your trustworthy, which both makes me feel comforted that they are wise to the world, but at the same time a little bit sad that they've had to become wise.. hmm I'm sure it's good in the long run though. You can never judge someone for what is necessary, but only try to understand the multifaceted cradle it sits in. Today the kids performed a musical too! they were really cute and did well (even though they never took practice seriously geez haha) A bunch of the kids sponsors and some funding people from the netherlands were the audience and afterwards Ketut (the man who started the yayasan) talked about the programs. It was interesting though when he picked out certain kids and told their story, of being poor and uneducated.. it felt uncomfortable even for me, let alone how the kids felt. It brought up some inner dialogue about what I've heard been called "NGO porn" (bad name I know) but it's when organization show kids in terrible situations to envoke pity, and money from watchers. It made me think of what is necessary in these organizations to attain funds and keep afloat and for funders to feel appreciated. But is there a way to do this without parading the childs life and harships around? Nonetheless I think these kids seem really happy, cared for and have open futures is probably the main point. Just thoughts floating through the ether.

They sure are a lot more proficient at english than I thought they would be! They're pretty clever, which is awesome and means we'll be able to do more complicated fun things. I'm excited and nervous for next week, but that probably won't really go away! It'll just keep me on my toes :)

Other than school that we've moved houses, and now instead of our little bungalow with a pool we have on old castley house, thats kinda run down in an awesome old temple kind of way. There are three floors and we got the top! A room and a patio with an awesome view... of the lightening storms... eep! haha but at least we aren't the tallest thing around so i'm not too worried :) We have tea parties and cake and watch the clouds roll by and laugh.. yep life is good. And Nyepi is in two days! Which is indonesian new year, the biggest celebration of a year chock full of celebrations so it should be a spectacle! So everyone is making these huuge statues right now called Ogo Ogo's, which can be a variety of scary animals, creatures and spirits (all very scary looking) and then tomorrow night they'll parade them around the streets like giant puppets, make tons of noise, yell and scream, and scare all the demons away. Then the next day is a day of silence and meditation where the spirits and demons are roaming the streets and you have to hide in your home. Airports, streets and whole cities shut down for the day and there are spiritual police (wearing checker clothe so the demons can't see them) who patrol the streets so no one leaves their home.

.... pretty awesome!!!

Tomorrow we're off to the holy water spring and were invited to a friend's family celebration, so it should be a beautiful weekend.

LOVE YOU ALL!!! :)